Thursday, March 27, 2014

Daddy's lil girl

It was a breezy sunny evening , one of the better days of pleasant weather in Chennai. The dad and daughter combo slowly embarked on their healthy journey  towards Elliotts beach , also popularly known as Bessie beach. 

Preethi was not pleased with her dad, pushing her successfully to walk with him. He had won another battle , like he always did with her. She had thankfully inherited her mother's petite frame - one which would make a yoga trainer proud- yet she still gave her dad company. For among other things , he was an ideal candidate for replacing yo mama as the heavy icon and had the potential to make the yoga trainers very rich. 
While she was brooding about her dad's obesity , he was wondering how to broach the subject of her marriage. He built up his courage and asked , " Can you please do me a favor , dear? " 
She had had enough , " I cannot jog for you pa , because that is impossible" 
"I know that dear. That's why I didn't ask you. But can you get married this year for me? That would cure me of all diseases!" he cheerfully proclaimed after the initial stumbling . 
The reply came back in rocket speed . With such spontaneity that, you could swear without knowing that ,she had already given the topic a lot of thought , " a) that will cure none of your diseases dad .In fact it would worsen your health. b) Me running for you is more possible than my getting married for your sake"
Daddy sighed so deeply that she thought he had an asthma attack. But then , she was not going to care anymore. This was where she drew the line . Her marriage was her choice. If not the groom , the timing atleast.. She didn't want her dad to get hurt but and so she chose to not get married. Long run always topped short run.
Somehow he never understood that. Impulses ruled and controlled him to such an extent that it could potentially destroy him. He always HAD to get what he wanted. The latest longer iPhone , another sip of his favorite drink , the next series of bmw ... the list elongated to eternity and she didn't want to be a part of his checklist. No sir. But she knew he always got what he wanted. Eventually at least. 
For he was a man of style, this Venugopal Iyengar. Only Dumbledore could beat him in a swag contest. And the knowledge of his own powers relaxed him. He didn't need to coerce preethi . Because she knew he wouldn't . And because she knew he loved her . 
Sometimes love needs to be stated over and over again. Such relationships are at best superficial. Venu never needed to tell Preethi that he loved her. Few dads ever have to . He never bought her things to satisfy her wants and buy her love. Few dads try that. He wasn't a great believer of spending 'quality time with the kids' , true . They watched cricket matches and movies every Sunday . That was about it. 

Dads have their unique ways of showing their love. The unnecessary over protectiveness while dealing with all male elements of her life , the side glances of affection when he thought she wasn't looking , the casual hand over her shoulders and  the best of it all -the feeling of his soggy hands holding her hands firmly and assuredly whilst crossing the road was when it strikes her how much he loves her or at least how much she loves him. She belonged to somebody – somebody who would put himself to danger to protect her.
Thank god she had ended up in his side after her parents divorced. 
What was happening?! She couldn't wake up from her reverie of affectionate thought. She couldn't go back to the great road leading to Elliotts beach where her dad was calling out to her.. whispering with his usually deep voice " pree...thee.." "pree...thee" . Sounded like he wanted her to pray for him. Pray thee! Why is dad using archaic English? Why is he whispering? Why is he sweating so much? This was all but a bad dream. But wait.. she could feel his soggy sweating hands hold her tightly. Grasping her with such desperation. 
Then like a thunder hitting the tree the thought struck , but she pushed it out of her mind. The usually cool venugopal kept moaning “pree..thee” She could feel a crowd forming around them. Something was very wrong. All were senses were screeching at her . But she couldn't come back to the great grand road leading to elliots beach. She could be floating with the stars.
What was the last thing which happened before she jumped into this never ending train of thought?
Oh shit.

Her dad was most probably having an asthma attack or worse -a cardiac arrest! She could feel his soggy strong grip and his face..tears were raining down his cheek. She had never seen Venu appa cry. Not even when their mom left them. There was a legend though that he had cried when she was 2 and had broken her head. Cute baby face full of blood was what it took to make the man cry. She was getting lost again.
She must face the problem. Drop back to reality. Do more than hold his hand and most importantly save him.
Forming words seemed like an alien task. Her parched dry mouth was forming the words and she was pretty sure that she was talking. But she couldn't hear a thing of it. Screw it! Her weak body and emotionally inept brain must have gone into shock. Her dad was probably dying and here she was dillydallying with shock.
Finally she could here it “ I am here daddy!! Someone save him please. Someone call for an ambulance!”
Yippy . The devoted daughter has finally spoken.
Thankfully some random aadmi must have already called for an ambulance. She could here the sirens. The cute paramedics were coming fast with their stretchers towards them. She held venu’s hands very tightly , “ Don’t worry daddy. I will take care of you. I will  marry for you . I will run for you. Heck , I will even cook for you “
He was crying alarmingly now , bringing her hands close to his chest. He must really be in pain. His face was full of sweat and tears. Like her , he couldn't form any words . only tears .
The paramedics finally came and lifted her off the ground. “Not me you idiots! My dad is in danger. I am only suffering from shock” she said with true horror and dismay. Stupid paramedics they have these days she mused -cute but stupid. Being the lawyer she was , she vowed to sue them after this mess got cleared. “Where is my dad?” she wailed. That was when the needle pricked and reality finally hit.
“……truck out of nowhere doctor. PLEASE SAVE HER…. daughter. She is the only thing I love in life doctor”  ha and you’re the only man I will ever love , dad. The drugs are reallly starting to kick in lol
“…..miracle ....... she being....... still conscious”
The siren kept shrieking . God!,Why can’t they just shut it off?

And he did shut it all off. 

Saturday, March 22, 2014

We could have it all.

Sometimes when your immediate environment gets entangled in a certain mood , the said mood tends to stick on to you. In this case, the death of a close relative of my friend caused the effect and set my mental wheels into motion. The following points are my abstract thoughts on 'loss'. There is no context for this loss - it can be something as innocuous as losing your favorite toy or something as devastating as losing your limbs. I have presented my thoughts to you in the raw form as it came to me . No explanation ; open to interpretation :) 

When you lose something , it hits you .
Most often like an epilepsy attack
Ugly , painful and most importantly 
It is most important to acknowledge a loss 
when you're down and out. 
However more vital it is for you to 
appraise loss, from a position of 
strength - that so occasionally enraptures you and gives you space to lock up your unresolved emotions-.
We actually never lose anything .
People - good and bad -
become memories - good and bad- 
Skills lost are actually just converted into new ones. 
Energy diverted from one focal point to another. 
Sometimes some one else's loss hounds us so much that 
it haunts us to a point that 
we start imagining their losses as our own
or fantasize those losses in our already pitiable life. 
Not too healthy .
People survive loss of limbs , deaths of loved ones , the vanishing acts of love and a 100 million more life changing horrors everyday and conquer it with panache. guess what? You can too. 
So just take a deep breathe . Close your eyes . And believe. 
Only your belief can save you from your mind manufactured hell . Reality is not the culprit it is your perception -who is your enemy. 
Ain't nobody got time for feeling like a loser
when there is a whole world to win out there
or atleast live.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Chocolates AND strawberries

You all must know that there are two types of people traversing the earth. First, are the cool ones who love chocolate and second are the lame ones who love strawberries. And I hope you are intelligent enough to guess which type of person I am B|- Chocolate of course .
Every individual has a love story. More importantly and specifically – Every individual has a love story of how they fell for chocolate  or strawberry  We gift each other chocolates for birthdays – not fancy strawberries . Some may have strawberry flavored chocolate. But since the name chocolate is involved – chocolate rocks.
This is how I sounded for a long time . And then one day I tasted strawberries accidentally – it was love at first sight.
Okay , what is she SAYING?
For those who didn’t get it already , “I am using a metaphor to convey a larger social message” Those who don’t know what a metaphor means please  leave  google it.
Okay  I’ll cut the know- it- all attitude. Owning some blogspace can do that to you . Metaphors are otherwise known as examples / illustrations. Thu :P
Coming back to chocolates and strawberries….
Life goes like this ->

Like many , I fell in love with chocolates pretty easily and very quickly. And for strawberries.. they had a negative stereotype of girliness ( I am a {tom}girl though) and were/are very hard to find in burning hot Chennai. Whatever strawberry I did manage to taste were rotten by the chennai weather and more importantly by my unconscious prejudice against the poor fruit.
My point is not that strawberries are actually delicious. It is that I never gave myself a chance to enjoy it . I was so preoccupied on protecting my ideology that chocolates > strawberries and so obsessed on winning vocal battles that I closed my eyes to the obvious . If I had gone in with an open mind and hated strawberries – then that is my personal opinion- but since I hated it prematurely because it is in the wrong side of chocolate it is a social problem of stereotypes.

I didn’t even care to research or know about strawberries . After all that fruit would never be a part of my life. However one day ,my dad came home with ‘strawberries’ his boss had gifted him and forced me to take a bite. Reluctantly I took a bite. And yay!! I was right after all. The outer coat was so bitter and the inner part tasted weird too, Nothing like the strawberry icecream we taste in shops . It took me a long time to realise that I should have only the inner part. And it took me a longer time to realise that they were lychees and not strawberries .
I could blame the third party –dad for this confusion. But it is my own ignorance which put me to shame and not his. He in fact never specified what fruit it was. I just assumed they were strawberries – and hated them.
Chocolates and strawberries? They sound too trivial for us to even batter an eyelid. However in actuality there is a much larger problem in hand here. We’re brought up in a society where there is an invisible and ever existent divide between every object – man made and human made . You love pink? You must hate blue! You love Rajini? You must hate kamal! You love India? You must hate Pakistan! See how things escalate?
If we lived in isolation from these opposites it maybe okay (in the smallest way possible) to hate them .And more often than not we have to wear our least favorite color or watch a film of our ‘least’ favorite actor to impress someone. So it is better to understand if we truly hate something or not. I have a friend who hates Hrithik Roshan simply because she loves sharukh khan. Again..what?!

The other day , I watched the 104768th tamil masala action film produced in the tamil film industry named jilla. The protagonist who initially supports his mafia leader father becomes a police officer (yes , it is indeed ridiculous) . When his don dad asks him why he has switched sides he says , “ When I was with you , I liked what you did. When I came here I just saw the other side and I like this better”Hardly an eureka moment but that is the maximum you can get from a yesteryear cheesy sentimental action film . It does make a lot of sense though. Only when he was forced to become a police, he saw the atrocities of a don (although the moral grounds are indigestible for this argument)
What I am asking is – Why should it be an or question always? Why chocolates or strawberries? Why not embrace all forms of yummy items? ( ignore the diabetes question here) Why should we be pushed to a corner to love something new?
We get too settled with our favorites. We must constantly branch out and experiment new flavors to remain exotic. Midlife crisis shouldn’t be the reason you go for a world tour.
Finally this is my basic thought for the day - Only if you can try you can taste , and only if you can  taste you can fall in love. Don’t let your love for something be the reason for you hating something else.

Hope you got my flow of thought

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Bah humbug!

It's been a really long time since I wrote on this space. Looks like time wastage is faster than water wastage after all . So what's been up ? Life! :P I've been trying to do more reading and yoga ,i.e. , trying to go back to who I used to be lol
Subtle message to everyone - I'm turning 18- on this March's 25th day!! ^_^_^_^_^_^
a) please courier/hand deliver my gifts. Material gifts preferred over genuine wishes from the heart .
b) the significance of this number EIGHTEEN.

Talking more on a) will only further depreciate my public image so let's move on to b)  - the so called crux of this post ( if you are really searching for one here)

aaHH . . it's so nice to be back in sss :')
well said xD

There is always this irrational hysterical hype surrounding birthdays once we hit pre / teens
 Miss the good old days of simply cutting a mickey mouse shaped cake wearing party hats and having potato chips and coke with that! Seriously , what is so special about turning older? Growing up is overrated . Sadly we learn that only when we do *sighs*
The only surprise in surprise birthdays is how the birthday kid acts surprised -_-
For more intel on b'days click ----> here

Notwithstanding this usual nonsense , we have to feel happier on our 18th - because we are supposedly ....'legal' or majors. Roughly translated this means that we can continue to do what we've already been doing - this time with legal sanction. I don't seen any parents turning cooler with curfews and higher authorities will simply find other reasons to catch us .
So what does one actually get to do when they turn 18?
1) Act surprised in the midnight when parents/hostel mates invade your room with delicious chocolate cake and apply it all over your face .
should i add more feels?
2) Say innumerable thank yous to the unbearably innumerable "Happy b'day! You're 18! party hard. " Not to sound ungrateful , but replying to the 87th post on your wall is not as cheerful a task as it is to replying to the 3rd one . Also - posting 'HBD' is worse than posting nothing at all. There are many ways to save time - Abbreviation is not one .

3) You get to watch A certified films in the theater . While admittedly , it IS useful for puny people like me to have an ID card to prove their actual age , It is highly redundant among the common mass of teens, who due to their sheer looks and height pass off as adults and have watched a hundred million A films in theater already. Also the theater owners don't really check . -____-

4) You get convicted for offences . With great age comes greater responsibility and greater punishment .

5) Another catchphrase for your mother to insult you with. Instead of saying " Samyuktha! you are seven donkey years now and still don't take care of yourself " she says you are 18 now
6) You get to vote . But that is only if you turn 18 before January 2014 . Choosing between a possible authoritarian , an idiot and an impractical aadmi doesn't seem very appealing though. Still Universal adult franchise is our unequivocal right - all of us MUST vote irregardless of the bleak political climate. Register a no vote in the machine - but do vote! Unless we exercise our duty cum right  , we don't have the right to moan and complain.

Got sidetracked by sensible thoughts. Where was I? .... * slaps her head* *really loses track* *reads the text again*

Yes!  It has been a long time since I blogged . Bear with the cynical tone and abruptness in flow . Will get my swag back soon :) (hopefully :P ) and my b'day IS coming up . But your wishes are more than enough to fill  my lil heart (simply putting on a front) .Birthdays are actually nice in the sense that they acknowledge the existence of a person and make them feel truly special . Also turning 18 means accepting adulthood and responsibility for one's actions - as pretentious as it may sound now , it is the first baby step towards true independence at least a symbolic landmark . Like buying stationery or going to temple before starting to study for your twelfth board exams .

All the best and advanced congratulations to all those who are writing there board exams :) If you're actually reading my blog now , it means you are procrastinating at the highest level and you are probably bored to death . Just remember that you can bask in the glory of this one focused month for months to come :D

P.S - (To be more subtle) Please do something for my b'day. I'm not this choosy in real life xP

open this ----> here 

Bah humbug! Get to work all of you,